Each stage of life involves changes and adaptations, but adolescence is undoubtedly the most notable. Some of us may remember the great mood swings, the frequent discussions with the parents, the ideals that could soon become great disappointments ...
- 1 The challenge of adolescence
- 2 The body revolution in adolescence
- 3 Freedom and autonomy in adolescence
- 4 Responsibility and limits in adolescence
- 5 The adolescent group trend
- 6 How to guide a teenager?
The adolescence challenge
When children begin to go through this period feelings are evoked, which will affect us in a particular way, coinciding with half of life (midlife crisis). A teenager at home is a great challenge that requires patience, accompaniment, adaptation and flexibility. It will demand coherence between acting and saying, rejecting speeches and claiming freedoms that we must administer clearly and firmly., maintaining a close link in communication. In search of their autonomy, they will defend their space with nails and teeth and at the same time they will be able to invade that of others.
This trip to the unknown that means adolescence will not go unnoticed for anyone because tensions and fights will happen ... Discriminating which are the product of emotions and anger directed towards themselves, will help not perpetuate unproductive discussions, discarding the purely emotional and passing aspects .
One way in which the child will define his role is to differentiate himself from ideas, from his parents ... He will need to contradict himself, and reaffirm himself in the search for a still emerging adult identity.
The alternation of periods of withdrawal and apathy with moments of euphoria and "eating the world" are typical of this stage, which overlaps with attitudes still childish.
Magical thoughts usually collapse before reality when he finds that what he imagined did not happen despite not having done anything to achieve it. Evaluating, questioning and weighing down everything that has been built are habitual attitudes that will remain throughout this period. After an apparently cold and hostile external behavior, which he uses as a defense, he feels inwardly vulnerable and insecure. You need to experiment for yourself, get fed up and reject the advice ...
Their relationships have an intense character that at the same time can be temporary due to their instability and passional crises. In the attempt to achieve a balance, it passes from one extreme to the other.
The body revolution in adolescence
In this area the changes are violent affecting the whole organism and especially sexual functions. The sensations of estrangement, lack of muscular coordination are characteristic due to abrupt bone-muscle growth. When the body that the child dominated begins to hatch, they usually invade feelings of uncontrol and dissatisfaction that are manifested in continuous changes of clothing and image, adoption of diverse and transitory identities.
Freedom and autonomy in adolescence
For parents it is also complex to tolerate the distancing proposed by the adolescent, since it is natural that fears are generated that their children become independent and lose the protagonist and idealized role they had until then. However, the excess of permission can be lived as abandonment because despite the freedom they claim they still need that dependence. The point of balance between detachment and staying linked requires a constant search for strategies between both parties. A monitored autonomy will be a field where you can try feeling supported.
Responsibility and limits in adolescence
Guidelines and guidelines are part of the care a teenager requires. It is important to convey clear boundaries and basic rules that must be respected and not negotiated. You should know that not respecting them will imply consequences: denied departures, limited schedules. The restrictions must be reasonable ...
The adolescent group trend
In the group find a self-esteem and safety reinforcement. He transfers the dependence he had before with his parents as a transition to his individuation. He is inclined to the dictates of the group in terms of fashion preferences and its performance represents the opposition to parental figures, which allow him to separate.
How to do so that the house does not become a pension?
- Generating a space for exchange and communication and minimum family meeting times where confronting and hearing, asking for help and feeling the presence of their parents can be useful to resolve the tensions of these moments.
How to guide a teenager?
- Provide individual time to each child
- Encourage friends to share family activities.
- Dose the tickets on the Internet with limits or hours.
- Avoid phrases that begin with "when I was your age"
- To be able to hear what they say and not what we would like.
- Propose weekend getaways, with the family that favor shared spaces.
- Motivate them in activities they choose by accepting that they do not want to continue them later. Remember that the search and dissatisfaction are parties involved and it is necessary that they can be wrong without being judged.
Despite how complex this "company" may be, it is full of discoveries, creativity and courage. Idealism and commitment are also the pleasant parts that it is important not to lose sight of, to share with them this trip to unknown territory.